I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
