jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
