D3 body, D1 cock
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
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