So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
