K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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