i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
