"it" just moved
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
