Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
