Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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