Pants 0. Shit 1.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
high people should be assigned attendants
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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