he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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