my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
