I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
