I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
