sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
