My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
