that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
