I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
