just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
