It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
