This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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