ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
