I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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