Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
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