Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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