Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I fill condoms, not promises.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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