Kiss
Puke
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
