you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
