He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
