Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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