Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
