dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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