How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
