My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
