i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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