just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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