Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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