currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
