Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Randomize
