I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
do herpes really smell.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize