I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
