I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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