I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
