It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
