I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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