Sponge bath it is.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
