I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Dicks are not precious.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
