You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
should my penis look like a turkey
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
