I want to make a zoo with you.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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