the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
