i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
