What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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