I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
