Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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