By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
