Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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