if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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