i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
