...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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