that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
